Well friends, here we are.
I woke up alone in the apartment this morning. Annabelle and the kitties left very early for Portland and Vinnie is still in Santa Cruz with a cold (hopefully). We briefly considered camping out at his parents’ house in SF for the next few weeks/months, but his dad is coming back from London in a few days and cannot do his job from home. So I’m still in LA. I am very lucky to have a place where I can safely stay and school/an internship that I can do remotely, but I was already home for several weeks prior to the spread of coronavirus due to a POTS flare up so I am definitely feeling antsy and lonely.
When I was in high school and barely left the house for three years I coped by fully immersing myself in whatever tv show or movie I was currently watching, but I am (theoretically) finishing up my grad school quarter right now and we’re, you know, in the midst of a global pandemic, so I cannot tune out.
This is maybe a little more angsty than I intended.
I spoke with some friends on the phone this afternoon, which definitely lifted my spirits. One thing that came up during a conversation that I want to mention here is that you are 100% allowed and encouraged to feel all of your feelings about events/trips/daily life being cancelled or altered. If you’re making decisions for the sake of others (or if decisions were made for you), you don’t have to feel guilty for being sad even though other folks might be in more precarious situations. If you made a hard decision for the greater good or if someone else made that decision but you’re supportive, I really appreciate that! I too am bummed that my cohort’s transportation equity spring break trip to Mexico City was cancelled, and I’m disappointed that our final quarter of grad school is online. I also recognize that many folks are making much larger sacrifices to keep their communities safe, and I am so grateful.
I also want to share this message from one of my Italian cousins, Mariastella. She’s in Rome and her dad is a doctor in one of the hospitals. We’ve been texting this week as she transitions to lockdown.
Keep in mind that our response in the US has been even more of a clusterfuck than Italy’s and we don’t have universal healthcare or the same degree of slack in our healthcare system. Italian doctors are currently making decisions about whose lives to save. Survivors sometimes face long-term health complications, like lung damage. You don’t have to be an epidemiologist to understand that this is going to get a lot worse.
Which is why I feel like I’m going a little bananas as I watch people continue to not recognize the scale of the situation. I get it, though. When I first got sick I had these moments all the time where I thought, “I can’t believe this is my life,” and it was not anger or sadness but honestly disbelief. It’s so strange to feel like you were chugging along in one direction and then all of a sudden you take a sharp turn into another universe where the terms of your life are totally different. It’s very weird!!! It feels counter to everything we know about community and connection that we need to stay inside so the people we love don’t die (and to get very real it's possible that over a million Americans will die from this).
I know it’s hard to fathom that this is going to drastically change our lives. It’s hard to prepare for the worst when the worst isn’t here yet, but we do have some degree of control over how bad this gets and it involves doing things that may feel like a huge over-reaction right now.
I think that’s probably enough for day one of this newsletter. Not sure how frequently I’ll send these, though it seems like the situation changes dramatically every 12 hours so I’m sure there will be plenty to write about. I haven’t written anything substantial about chronic illness and its implications in a while, but this got way more attention than I was anticipating so maybe there’s something here.
What I’m reading: Coronavirus Edition
The Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security newsletters are the best source of regular, reliable information I’ve found. You can sign up here.
New York just suspended evictions for the next three months, and other cities are considering doing the same. If you’re in California, you can sign this petition to support a similar measure here.
Public health experts on the dos and don’ts of social distancing
We obviously need Medicare for All
I’ve already shared these articles elsewhere, and they’re worth reading if you haven’t:
Young and Unafraid of the Coronavirus Pandemic? Good for You. Now Stop Killing People
How canceled events and self-quarantines save lives, in one chart
What I’m reading: Non-Coronavirus Edition
How Can I Talk to My Children About Climate Change (by Lydia Kiesling, writer of things that deeply touch my heart and, coincidentally, the wife of my former boss)
The New Age of Freeway Revolts in CityLab
Listen, I was proud to get 100% on this Buzzfeed celebrity look-alike quiz
What I’m watching
Italians under lockdown singing from their homes
Suni Lee's bars routine from the 2019 women's gymnastics world championships
Rewatching Chuck, which I watched as it aired the first time around because it premiered the week after I got sick in 2007. I’m a little nervous to see how some of the jokes have aged, but I found the show pretty delightful as a teen (and especially recommend if you have a weakness for 2000s indie music).
Last thoughts: Shout out to Ellie for naming this newsletter. Thanks to Vinnie for the illustration. Shabbat Shalom and please continue sending me pictures of your pets!